MY
GOALS IN THE WORLD
The world is being
devastated because of the contamination of the rivers. We can’t live as our
parents did we can go to pool due to the toxics we find there also because of
the waste of water. People didn’t take care of the water.
I am Samuel a young
of 14 years old. My biggest dream is to become rich to give back the quality of
life that people used to have before. I have invented a machine that can purify the water called “Neues Leben”, since my
true motivation is to give a better life to my kids.
I live near to Berlin Wall what means that there are some ideological
differences between some people. Also the people are not collaborating and
don´t care about the world. These are some obstacles that I find at the time of
fighting against the contamination. But I still want to give them a better
life.
Tomorrow it’s my birthday and I am very excited due to the fact that
tomorrow I will present my project of the government, and if everything goes
well I can be rich and I can obtain.
We have the half of the rivers of the country, thanks to my invention
the already can play in the rivers, go swimming pool on a hot day, the people
not longer suffer from dehydration, the
animals are returning to their homes and the other countries are willing to pay
millions for my invention, but the most important thing of all is that I could
fulfill my dream and to give people with a decent life and to my children.
i think that you story is very good, it is good written, you one mistake is "The world is being devastated because OF the contamination of the rivers" the word "OF" in this moment is not neccesary, the correct form is "The world is being devastated because the contamination of the rivers", but is you only mistake, congratulation :)
ReplyDeletethe story was fine juampi but try to change the first sentences, try to used other words to replace "of the , of the" for example at the begging you could try to write The world is being devastated by the river´s contamination.
ReplyDeleteanother mistake was "can go to pool" -- i think that you were trying to said that we can´t so write "we can´t go to the pool"