Once upon a time a princess, so beautiful, so smart and many other virtues that I can't remember in this moment. His name so heavenly that i won't say I don't forget it I won't say because it is fascinating. She lived in a castle it was very large, spacious and of a clean white madness color. There were thousands of rooms full of people who loved her, althrough they weren't his subjects, his true subjects always removed them and never allowed that they admired her. The short time that the princess could be with them, they implored food and caresses with their feline voice. Sometimes they disappeared without her knowing. She could be with them and in seconds she was with nobody. It was very strange.
Besides that passing strange thinks this place had a terrifying guards, they was very ugly and grotesque with his white dresses and his red crossings, always they was screaming and hurt her with rancid food and stab in her arm. Who save to this beautiful princess? Nobody, never somebody save me... correction, save her. For this reason she think in a way to bring all his subjects to his room. They was discovered for any guards, she would be punished or worse, she could lose her family visit. I love my family they are so beautiful that I don't remember what happens next. I am a little distracted.
I design a form that... scuse me. She design a form for the exit of his room, it was time to sleep for all crazy people that lived in the castle. She ran all that she could.
The garden was wet because it was raining. I wasn't here, but someone told me. She ran in search his friends. She look and look but not found his feline friends.
Where are my friends? I never knew, I return to the madhouse while I dragging my feet, when I return a nurse expected me with my drugs. I panic and try to flee but she hug me and take me to my room, the only place where I can play and dance. I lay in my bed looking at my fantasy drawings full of faires and princess, but I hear a norse, I looked at the window and discovered a black cat with blue eyes, it passage through the bars of my window. I don't remember the end... but it must have been great.
I design a form that... scuse me. She design a form for the exit of his room, it was time to sleep for all crazy people that lived in the castle. She ran all that she could.
The garden was wet because it was raining. I wasn't here, but someone told me. She ran in search his friends. She look and look but not found his feline friends.
Where are my friends? I never knew, I return to the madhouse while I dragging my feet, when I return a nurse expected me with my drugs. I panic and try to flee but she hug me and take me to my room, the only place where I can play and dance. I lay in my bed looking at my fantasy drawings full of faires and princess, but I hear a norse, I looked at the window and discovered a black cat with blue eyes, it passage through the bars of my window. I don't remember the end... but it must have been great.
very well
ReplyDeletei think that your story is very interesting but your mistakes are
ReplyDeleteOnce upon a time a princess, so beautiful, so smart and many other virtues that I can't remember in this moment. because the correct way to write this is once upon a time a beautiful, smart princess and many other vistues ¨that I can't remember in this moment.
other mistake is His name so heavenly the correct way to write is her name
other is his white dresses and his red crossings the correct way to write is their white dresses and their red crossings.
corrections:
ReplyDeletealthrough -----> though
GOOD STORY THAT!!!! I like to leave us in suspense at every moment
ReplyDeletenicky I really enjoyed your story was so cool the elements that you used, the way that you narrate the story and the plot, be careful with the last part because sometimes you write in present sentences that i suppose have to be in past
ReplyDelete